The Five Love Languages

There is a good book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Have you read it?

It’s about how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. 

Here they are – 

Words of Affirmation

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Physical Touch

He says that love can be expressed and received in all five languages.  However, if you don’t speak a persons love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.

All of us blossom when we feel loved, and wither when we do not feel loved.

So, what is YOUR love language?  Which of the five makes you feel loved the most? 

And just as important to know – what is your mate’s love language?  (If you have to ask, do so!) 

Are you speaking it? 

Multi-tasking kills cognitive power

Multi-tasking test.  Count to ten.  Now count ten letters of the alphabet starting with A.  “A, B, C, D, E…etc.”

Easy right?

Now multitask.  Alternate numbers and letters.  1A, 2B, 3….etc. to ten.

Multi-tasking doesn’t work well.

Trying to split focus makes you less accurate and less creative.

Stay in ONE zone – one task at a time, and worry about the rest when you are done.

Be Nice.

Under stress, under fire, under deadlines – even when you may be justified to be rude, angry or righteous, still – be nice.

Because it’s better for others, yes. But more so, because in the short and long runs, it’s better for you.

People have long memories. 

Be nice. Especially when you don’t have to.

Plan your food supply

I’ve come to the conclusion that on most days if I do not meal prep and bring my lunch when I’m on the road, I’m probably going to eat junk and lose ground.

(Talking to myself here)

What’s easily available is not good. But if it’s in a little cooler on my passenger seat, it is good and couldn’t be more convenient. 

The real person you have to worry about…

“For the first time in human history, more people die from eating too much than from eating too little; more people die from old age than from infectious diseases; and more people commit suicide than are killed by soldiers, terrorists, and criminals combined. In the twenty-first century, the average human is far more likely to die from binging at McDonald’s than from drought, Ebola, or an al-Qaeda attack. Sugar is now more dangerous than gunpowder.” – Yuval Noah Harari, Homo Deus, a Brief History of Tomorrow.

I’m glad I mostly only have to worry about me.

The question is, can you win against yourself?

Take full responsibility

The first step to the life you want is to take full responsibility for who you are, what you are doing, and the results you are getting.

If you don’t, you are saying you are a victim – it’s not your fault.

And why would you try to change or get better if it is not your fault?

You have to take responsibility and take control of your own life.

Nobody will care more about your future than you.  Nobody.

This does not mean you don’t need others in your life. Of course you do. But you are in charge of you, and you can’t blame any of them for your life (anymore) if you want to grow, be in control of yourself and be fulfilled.

A sense of control over your life

People that do not feel they have a sense of control over their lives, are not happy campers.

This is why communism, socialism, dictatorships, jail, and overbearing parents or spouses do not yield happiness.

If we made bad choices in the past and our options are limited because of it, our sense of control goes down along with our happiness.

Paradoxically, if we do whatever we want today, it may be nice for a little while, but our options will erode, and our sense of control will go down.

If we make good choices, work hard and smart because it is in our interest and we want to, do smart things with our money, and maintain a reputation for helping others and being kind, our sense of control will grow along with our fulfillment and contentment.

Do you feel a sense of control? 

Learn yourself, or learn from others.

One way is long, hard, and expensive.

The other way is fast, cheap, and less painful.

Which is best for you?

Find the right teachers

Who do you want to be?

What do you want to learn and then do?

Not any teacher will do.

Find the right ones – the right expertise and the right voices.

You don’t want to “pass a course” that is not relevant to who you want to be.

Search podcasts, books, video and ask your network.

Spend time finding the right teachers before you spend time learning.

If you are going to spend time studying, studying what is in your bullseye will be most effective.

Who are the best teachers for you right now?

Learn constantly and reinvent yourself

“Since we do not know how the job market will look in 2030 or 2040, already today we have no idea what to teach our kids.  Most of what they currently learn at school will probably be irrelevant by the time they are forty.  Traditionally, life has been divided into two main parts: a period of learning followed by a period of working.  Very soon this traditional model will become utterly obsolete, and the only way for humans to stay in the game will be to keep learning throughout their lives, and to reinvent themselves repeatedly.  Many, if not most, humans will be unable to do so.” -Yuval Noah Harari, Homo Deus, a Brief History of Tomorrow.

What should we teach our kids to best prepare for the future? – How to keep learning throughout their lives, and to reinvent themselves repeatedly.

Are you doing that?