Growing to meet your dream

Dreams….goals….wanting something that hasn’t happened yet.

In my life, it hadn’t happened yet because I was not ready yet.  I had not prepared myself yet.

Dreams and goals make you grow into them – if you want them bad enough to do the work.

When you are ready; when you are good enough, take enough courageous action, and when you do the work necessary for that goal to come true – then you can manifest what you want.

Be clear on what you want.  Learn.  Make a plan.  Take action.  Learn more.  Notice and adjust.  Keep going.

The gift of your attention

Your attention is all you’ve got.  

You might say that attention is life.

To whom or what do you give this gift?

Control your attention, control your life.

Don't wait for motivation to strike

Motivation is great.  But most of the time, it may not be there.

You have to clearly determine what you want and use self-discipline to keep you moving towards it. 

Motivation will come and go along the way, but don’t let it start you and stop you.  

You’re the one to start, and the one to keep going no matter how you feel.

Creating your life with actions and reactions

Actions are your responsibility.  What you do determines how your life comes out.

Reactions are your responsibility.  How you respond/react to what others do and what happens around you shapes your life.

How have your actions and reactions got you to where you are? 

I packed in my suitcase…

I am packing for the future.

I gathered up the past and sorted it.

I took with me my family, my friends, my love.  I packed my ambition, my dignity, my knowledge and my honor.

I left behind envy, hate, jealousy, darkness, and resentment.  I left behind the people who don’t wish me well and those who would love to see me fail.  I left behind those who are not good for me.  I did not think of them again.

I threw in my goals and discipline and my faith and positive beliefs.

The suitcase was almost full.  There was a pile of things left OUT.

I put caring and kindness in for the journey.

I went to zip it closed, but there was one more thing I had to fit in – courage.  I stuffed it in all the empty spaces.

I drew a line….and picked up my suitcase with all I needed.

Here I go; confidently and enthusiastically…

Rate yourself – 5 Essentials Elements of Wellbeing

On a scale of 1-5, how would you rate yourself on these five essential elements of well-being?  

1) Professional – liking what you do every day.

2) Social – Having positive relationships and love.

3) Finances – comfort, safety, and security.

4) Physical – Fitness, health, energy, and vitality.

5) Community – Being valuable to others.

Top score is 25.  How did you do?

What can you do to be better?

How do YOU size people up?

Yesterday we talked about how we determine if we like someone quickly.  How do we do that?

#1 – We look at them.  Everything about them sends a message.  We can tell a lot about someone by how they dress and groom.  We can tell what kind of background they have, what they value, how much they care about themselves, and much more.  Will we be wrong sometimes?  Yes, but we are right most times.

People have a choice as to how they present themselves to the world.  They choose, and who are we to argue?

#2 – We listen to them.  When people open their mouth and talk we can tell a lot about where they are from, how much respect they have, what their intentions are, how educated they are, and how friendly they are.  The voice tells us a lot.

Am I right?

So this is what you can do to improve what others think of YOU.  Know that everything about how you look sends a signal to others about who you are.  If you want them to think differently about you, you can change how you are presenting yourself to them.  

You can also change your voice.  This is more difficult because it’s hard to pretend.  Your voice is the window to your soul.  But by taking care of yourself and getting your life together, being proud of yourself, having integrity, and getting clear on your intention to do good by yourself and others, your voice will change – and people will perceive it. 

In the meantime, fake it if you have to.  Be kind, positive, and helpful.

If people get positive first impressions about you, they treat you differently – in a way you will like; and it’s often a spiral up from there.

When people size you up quickly, what do they think about you?

How long does it take for you to determine if you like someone?

When you neet someone how long does it take for you to size them up?

Studies show it takes about 7 seconds for you to determine –

1) Education level

2) Economic Level

3) Perceived credibility, believability, competence and honesty.

4) Level of sophistication.

5) Trustworthiness

6) Level of Success

7) Social and professional desirability

8) and much more such as political and religious background.

Wow!  That’s a lot in 7 seconds!  Sure you could be wrong about some things.  And sure, we’ve all heard the saying “Never judge a book by its cover”.  But the cover is right more often than not so we keep doing it.  We have to make quick decisions about people – for time, for the safety of ourselves and our family, and to get what we want.

Don’t you size people up pretty quickly?

The Paradox of Choice

When we have no choices we feel we have no control, no autonomy, we may feel the one giving us the sole choice is a tyrant, and we are demotivated.

When we have too many choices we get decision fatigue, overload, and find it hard to make a choice.

Do you feel you have too few or no choices in some areas of your life?

(If so, remember, there is always a choice – you just have to be courageous enough to take it)

Do you feel there are too many choices in some areas?

(If so, narrow down the field, make faster decisions, and move on!)

A brave question to ask

Go to someone who has had lots of life experience, has their stuff together, is successful and knows you well.

Ask “I want you to tell me honestly what I can do better with my thoughts, actions, and character so I can be a better more able and productive person and show up better for other people.”

Most people shun genuine feedback.  Most people don’t want to hear it.

Ask and listen and don’t defend yourself.  We are programmed for pain avoidance.  When it hurts your ego, you may be making some real progress and change the direction of a few things because you want to avoid that pain again.

Are you brave enough to ask a few people this question?