Finish what you started

The other evening I went riding.  I ride a KTM450 dirt bike on my motocross track.  It has a lot of big jumps, turns, and elevation changes in the woods.

Then I switched bikes and got on my KTM 300 two-stroke bike made for the woods.  It was getting dark, (it gets dark in the woods before it does in the open) and I could hear a thunderstorm coming. Riding for me does a number of things. It is fun, it is exercise, it clears my head, it connects me to nature, and it is something I am just drawn to.  It is “a practice”.

So I set out to take a lap on a woods loop that my son Tanner had laid out, which we have been adding to.  It takes about 18 minutes to do one lap.  Winding through the trees where nobody walks…rocks, roots, up and down the mature New England forest.  Just beautiful.  

About 1/3 of a lap in, it starts raining.  Then harder.  I come over this ledge and start down a hill and had to grab the brakes because there was a big log down across the path.  If I hit it I would go down as it was at an angle and about a foot off the ground.  It rained harder, and thunder was clapping very close.  

It was a moment.  I was getting soaked.  I could have easily turned to the left and hit the road back to the barn, to shelter and safety to get dry.

I had to make a decision.  It wasn’t hard for me, given all my training, ordeals, and experience.  I must finish this lap, no matter what.

I found a spot to lean my bike and shut it down.  I got off and moved the log out of the way with great effort, the rain soaking my back and running down my butt crack. (sorry) Remount.  Carry on.

The rain increased velocity even more.  The rocks were slippery and the dirt turned to black and brown mud.  Puddles formed spontaneously.  

Nobody was around.  Just me.  Just me and what I said I would do.  I knew.  And it was glorious.

A deer with two fawns bob away from me.  I wind through the trees, soaking wet.  Each moment I am closer.  I pop out onto a hayfield on a steep slope.  Another log down. I glide through the high grass, seeds sticking to me and my wet bike.  Back down into the glade near the barn. 

My son Liam, 11, was waiting.  Today, he rode a motorcycle for the first time. Then he switched to an ATV. We had to put the machines away, and we were both out in the heaviest of rains, laughing.

When we did our chores, we went inside to clean up and dry off some.  I showed him a Dad trick –  how to dry his shirt quickly by rolling in a dry towel and stepping on it.  We sat at the table eating sandwiches I brought looking out at the rain we had defied. There was some sense of deep satisfaction and pride.

It was an incredible moment.

Integrity.

How to be happier

This is from Stoic philosopher Epictetus, from his writing “Enchiridion” – 

“Of things, some are in our power, and others are not… Examine it by this first and chiefly, whether it relates to the things which are in our power or to the things which are not in our power: and if it relates to anything which is not in our power, be ready to say that it does not concern you.”

Many people get upset and try to control things that are not in their control.  This is a recipe for frustration and angst.

Things that are not in our control largely involve what other people do or say, what happens at the neighbor’s house or on the other side of the world, the weather, and all that is on the news.

Want to be happy?  Control the controllables, and let the rest go, as it is not your concern.

Easy to say. 

Practice.

The Five Love Languages

There is a good book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Have you read it?

It’s about how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. 

Here they are – 

Words of Affirmation

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Physical Touch

He says that love can be expressed and received in all five languages.  However, if you don’t speak a persons love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.

All of us blossom when we feel loved, and wither when we do not feel loved.

So, what is YOUR love language?  Which of the five makes you feel loved the most? 

And just as important to know – what is your mate’s love language?  (If you have to ask, do so!) 

Are you speaking it? 

Multi-tasking kills cognitive power

Multi-tasking test.  Count to ten.  Now count ten letters of the alphabet starting with A.  “A, B, C, D, E…etc.”

Easy right?

Now multitask.  Alternate numbers and letters.  1A, 2B, 3….etc. to ten.

Multi-tasking doesn’t work well.

Trying to split focus makes you less accurate and less creative.

Stay in ONE zone – one task at a time, and worry about the rest when you are done.

Be Nice.

Under stress, under fire, under deadlines – even when you may be justified to be rude, angry or righteous, still – be nice.

Because it’s better for others, yes. But more so, because in the short and long runs, it’s better for you.

People have long memories. 

Be nice. Especially when you don’t have to.