5 Things you should not do – 1) Wish for a different life

Don’t waste time wishing for a different life.

It’s not going to happen anyway – you cannot change the past.

Accept who you are and where you came from.  That is the first step to high self-esteem and personal power.  Acceptance.

Be grateful – gratitude will take you much farther.

Turn shit into fertilizer.  Ask: How have my troubles made me better, stronger, and smarter?  What am I now uniquely qualified to do?

There is nobody just like you.  It all happened for a reason and you have a job to do.

Not all critcism is equal

People who don’t try don’t get criticized a lot. They say if you have haters you must be doing something right. lol. 

But not all criticism is equally valid. For example, social media commenters giving you “advice” that is out of context when they don’t really care about you and your future is not anything you should give weight to.

It’s people who you admire, that have their act together, that care about you, that have some experience – those are the ones you should listen closely to.  

If you have a handful of these people in your life it can be very valuable. Some will give you advice even if you do not ask for it.  Others, you have to ask. Many people never ask for advice from people smarter than them because they are afraid of what they will hear.  But you need to be smarter than you are afraid.  Ask.

What do you think about the path I am on?

How am I showing up to others?

What are people really saying about me?

What advice do you have for me?

I am not saying that you should follow the life plan of others.  But you can get a pretty good idea of adjustments you need to make to stay out of trouble and make things easier on yourself for whatever journey you are on.

Whose advice would you value? 

Go get it.

Give yourself a software upgrade.

Your brain is your hardware.

What you learn is your software.

The problem is the brain will function with bad software.

Your teachers will put their best ideas into you, which may be flawed.  (By “teachers” I mean everyone you learned something from, which is most of the people around you.)

Maybe in the environment you learned in, all the teachers (friends, voices, beliefs, “news”) were the same.

You may expose yourself to stupid people repeatedly and start thinking as they do.

Do you need to unlearn some things (delete some programs)?

Do you need to overwrite some programs with better ones?

Answering these last two questions takes a lot of brutally honest self-awareness, but can be a pivot point in your life.

Books, audiobooks, videos, mentors, training, etc. – Get some new and better voices programming you.  

Embrace necessary discomfort

Uncomfortable moving forward?  Good.

It’s hitting your ego a little?  Good.

Gonna be a little sore tomorrow?  Good.

Breaking your cozy habits?  Good.

Struggling a bit to focus a little longer than you prefer?  Good.

All growth lies outside your comfort zone.

The Wills and the Will Nots

When I show someone to the doorstep of the journey to success, and it looks like work, some people just won’t go it.  They just don’t respond.  They are not willing.  And there is nothing wrong with that, so long as we all understand how this works.

The other day a FedEx driver comes up to my house and I went outside to meet him.  He told me he drove this truck to get some extra money, but he had a business.  He told me about it.  He had energy and enthusiasm.  He was a hustler.  I was impressed.  I ran inside and got my book The Highest Calling and a bunch of other materials that would help him.  He was grateful and eager to dive in.

When you have enough desire to take action, to step into the gray and search and do, the things you need will show up.

If you have no desire, you don’t recognize value even when it is right in front of you.

The variable is what is in you.

From the invisible…comes the visible.