What do you need to get better at?

High-performance people are always getting better.  

But before you get better on the outside, you need to do some better thinking.

Ask – “What do I need to get better at?  And if I got better at it, things would be better for me.”

Then ask – “What do I need to DO to get better at it?”

What are your answers?

Sincerity and being right are dfferent

Some people are very persuasive because they are sincere.  They really seem like they believe in what they are talking about.

But, as I have (sometimes painfully) learned, just because someone is sincere and believes what they are talking about, doesn’t make them right.  

In important matters, you have to look at more than sincerity.

Sustained Effort and Enthusiasm

“Most people want to work hard for a week and a half and then want to pack their bags for the next vacation.” – Phil Stutz

“No great thing is created suddenly” – Epictetus

Hard work, enthusiasm and persistence over time are the engines of greatness.

Everyday – let’s go.

Get ready to be great

If you are tired, sick, tormented, or ignorant – you aren’t ready.

If you go to bed early enough, eat well, take care of your health and personal relationships, study when you don’t have to, and decide what you really want –

THEN, you are ready to do great work.

Are you ready?

Life's common denominator.

Martin Luther King said life’s common denominator is death.

Today, think ahead to your last day.  What kind of person did you want to be?  To who?

What did you want to do and where did you want to go?

…and when were you going to do these things?

Comparison – the thief of joy.

Looking at others for inspiration and good examples is fine. 

But too often, people get envious, jealous, or feel inferior.  That’s not good.

There will always be someone with more muscles, more money, better looking, bigger boat, more and nicer cars, or more smarts than you.  This should not be a surprise.  If we should feel bad if someone is doing better, then the reverse is also true – we should feel good when people are doing worse than us – and that is twisted too.

We are all not the same.  Don’t pin your happiness on what other people have.  Chances are it’s a public front, and their life is not what they make it appear to be anyway.  Everyone is struggling with something.  That should not make you feel better, but to feel a common humanity with everyone.

If you are not trying and doing the least you can, or doing bad things, you should feel bad about yourself – bad enough to change.

But if you are doing your best and getting out of your comfort zone from time to time to get better, you’re doing great.

Don’t compare to determine if you are happy or not.

Control the controllables and let go of the rest.  Be grateful.

Develop your unique ability.  Do your best with what you have and keep getting better. 

Make you proud.

You are the world

We don’t see things as they are, we see things as WE are.

Two people will be looking at the same thing, and see it differently.

We are our own truth.

Our lens is unique.  It’s based on decisions we already made about ourselves, other people, and about the world.

We look to confirm our decisions and beliefs.

The good news is, we can make new decisions, and replace a belief with a new one.

Create your own reality.

When bad things happen part 2

continued thoughts on “When life hits you hard” by Jordan Petersen –

Responsibility is not a burden.  It is the path forward.  The more responsibility you take, the stronger you become.  You’re a person who is actively creating your future.  

When life knocks you down, resist the urge to stay there.  Take an honest look at what is in your control and start there because even the smallest steps taken consistently can lead you out of the darkest places.

Master your emotions instead of letting them master you.  This is not easy.  (Don’t listen to yourself – talk to yourself.)  Emotions are signals – trying to tell you something.  If you react impulsively, you destroy relationships.  If you ignore emotions, that creates suffering too.

Recognize your emotions without letting them dictate your actions.  Instead of  “I am angry”, say “I feel anger rising in me” – that puts a little distance between you and the emotions.

Feelings are temporary, but your actions can have lasting consequences.  Ask, “Why am I feeling this?  What are my emotions trying to tell me?”  Channel your emotions to fuel action toward something meaningful.  Remind yourself – you are not your emotions.

Take responsibility for what you can control and let go of what you can’t.  Make the distinction between what you can control and what you can’t.  Control your mindset, attitude, and actions.

Bad things happen – will you define yourself by what happened or by how you respond to it? 

When bad things happen…

I got these notes from Jordan Petersen.

When life hits you hard – 

Accept it and don’t deny reality, don’t argue with what is.

Own it – don’t blame others; reclaim your power.

Decide who you want to be because of it – coming out of it.

Let go of what you cannot control.  You cannot always control what is going on in the outside world, but you must control what is going on in your inside world – your thoughts, emotions, and attitude.

Stop wasting energy on what you can’t control – then you can reclaim that energy for moving forward.

Isolation is not a good strategy.  It is a slow decent into despair.  When you are at your lowest, your own mind is your enemy.  It traps you into negative thoughts.  Resist the urge to retreat into yourself.  Reach out to people who will be helpful, not those who will validate your worst fear.  A mentor. 

Bring your thoughts out into the light where they can be examined and challenged.  When you talk your thoughts out loud, they begin to shrink.  Connection reminds you that you are not alone.  Pain isolates.  Healing happens in connection with others.  Find your people and talk it out.

Reclaim your agency in the middle of the storm.  When you go from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What can I do about it?”, you become the architect of the way forward.  

More on this tomorrow….

My goal is to build a life I don't need a vacation from.

“My goal is to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.” – Rob Hill

I wrote this quote down some time ago in my gym while I was working out.  I always keep a pad and pen handy to capture ideas.  I came across it again tonight.  It’s nighttime.  For those of you that are new, I’ll tell you a secret – but let’s keep it between us, ok?  I am not up each morning before 6 am eastern time writing Think Daily messages.  I write them in advance – usually about one week ahead, and they go out at the exact same time each morning.  Mostly I write in the mornings, and mostly on weekend mornings.

One subscriber asked if I write the messages.  Humph…  Yes they are written by AI – Actual Intelligence.  LJAI to be exact.  

So, about this idea of having a life you don’t need a vacation from.  I think I am there.  I love what I do, and I don’t get into any ruts.  Maybe I’ll have a day that did not go well, which is often because I had too much expectation of how much I’d get done, and ran out the clock before I got it all done.  A day filled with unplanned distractions might throw me off.  I’m pretty set on what I want to slay in any one day, and I get great satisfaction of it all goes to my ambitious expectations.

I live in Connecticut.  I was born here.  I love Connecticut.  I think many people have an affinity to where they were born.  But we have winter.  Winter stinks.  Well, I used to think that.  Maybe it’s PTSD from when I was framing houses.  15 degrees?  Foot of snow?  No matter.  I needed to eat.  Get out there and shovel the first-floor deck I framed yesterday and build those walls, boy!  Just kidding about the PTSD.  I loved what I was doing.  I built my first of 23 houses when I was 18 years old.  It was an adventure, and I still feel like I am on that adventure!

Maybe why I think winter stinks is that my hobby is being outside and riding dirt bikes and working in the woods or building stuff like stone walls and trails and bridges, and in the winter it’s no fun.  But now I realize, honestly as I type this post, that winter gives me the chance to be someone else for a while, to do different things and live in a different world.  When spring comes I am ready and appreciate the world of spring, then of summer, then of fall.  The seasons are different here, and it all contributes to my not getting bored with my life.

Winter used to get me down, but I snapped out of that three years ago.  Now I embrace it.  Cold?  Good.  Rain – Good.  Snow?  Good.  Whatever – good!

I love my work, and creating something from nothing.  I love my home, and love it more since I rebuilt it from a fire ten years ago where I lost the house and everything in it.  I love the diversity of people I know and call friends.  I am blessed to have the capacity to have crafted this life and to recognize it was in me to do so.  

When I travel, it’s not for a vacation from my life.  I love my life.

There is no more important work for you than to design and create a life that is fulfilling and joyful.  One where your activities match your values and one that you are proud of.

Life is the ultimate creative act.

I hope you take advantage of your chance and have no regrets in the end.