Learning a lesson before you need it

Lately, I have come across several decision points where I knew what to do beforehand because of what I have learned along my journey.  The answer was counter to my immediate human emotional urge, but I knew that long term it was the right thing to do – so I calmed down and did the right thing for the long term.

A younger less experienced, less wise me would either have made the wrong decision or languished over an internal struggle – and even felt like a victim or angry.

Learning lessons from your past or better yet from someone else before the next time you need that wisdom, and applying it when those situations arise will save you time and mental strife.

If you become an improved thinker in this way, as you get older you get better – and better.

What are you doing this year?

It’s 2023.  

What are you going to do this year that is memorable, fun, exciting, and/or a big step forward for you this year?

It’s March now.  Get on it!

Create and give more value than you consume

You get rewarded in life based on your contribution to others.  

If you give more than you take, you will almost always be in a good position.

Can you see that in people around you?

How is that working out for you?

Kindness

No matter what you do, you can do it with kindness toward other people.  Being kind is a gift that can make you feel better.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart

“When I was young, I admired clever people.  Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” – Abraham Joshua Heschel 

Eliminate options

It’s an amazing time to be alive.  Because of the freedom our forefathers constructed, the rule of law, and free market capitalism, we all (in countries with these ingredients) have countless options for what to eat tonight, how to entertain ourselves, who to date, and what to do with our days and with our lives.

This is great.  And it’s a problem.

You can’t do two things at a time.  If you try you will not do them well, and not enjoy them.

When we are young, there is a time for trying this and trying that to find out what we like and want to choose.  This is important.  Find the paths that resonate with your talents and your soul. But at some point, the search needs to end and the “fear of missing out” or “fear of making the wrong choice” needs to give way to making your choice and getting better at it/with it.

So your job is to eliminate options.  Pick one meal to eat.  One person to be in a relationship with.  One career you love to get great at.  One place to live.

Can you change your mind if you made the wrong choice?  Yes.  Can you add something once you have one thing mastered?  Yes.  But no choice is always the wrong choice.

By choosing and eliminating, and focusing your incredible powers, focus, and energies, going deep in one area instead of shallow in many, you will have a far better chance at living a rewarding and fulfilling life.

What will you regret NOT doing?

If today was your last day, what will you regret NOT doing?

Well, it’s not your last day.  Get to it, because tomorrow may be.

Nothing to lose

When it comes to living full out and growing towards all the potential inside you, many people live small thinking they have something to lose.

But the most precious thing you have to lose is the opportunity while you are here, and it is slipping by day after day if you aren’t fully actualized.

Other than that, there is nothing to lose.

Fooling Yourself

When I was a kid, say about 12 years old, somehow I became a big Styx fan.  That’s a band if you don’t know. They had this album at the time called “The Grand Illusion”.  I just loved it.  On the album was a song called “Fooling Yourself”.  

I think the number one thing holding people back is the story and beliefs we have about ourselves.  We lose faith in ourselves and our potential.  We think we can’t do it.  We come to believe in limitations.  We play small because of our own thinking.

The deceptions we tell others are nothing compared to the deceptions we tell ourselves.

We need to call BS on ourselves.

How are you fooling yourself?

Live in the world of your choosing

Your world is what you pay attention to.  It’s not what others are trying to present to you.  There is so much of that that you can’t pay attention to even a fraction of it anyway – so you have to choose.

You don’t have to live in the same world as everyone else, or even anyone else.  Create your own with the carefully selected collection of pieces you want.

There are two sides to this same idea necessary to make it work; what you choose to pay attention to and focus on and what you purposefully choose not to.  You will pay attention to far fewer things than you ignore.  You must be very intentional.

This is important; just as important as your life itself.

You can change your life as fast as you can change your attention.

Is this within my control?

When dealing with issues and things that come up, a good question to ask is “Is this within my control?”

I don’t like spending lots of time and mental and emotional energy on things that are not.  In the end, you get the rug pulled out, and you’ve wasted lots of time and wind up with heartbreak and disappointment.

Instead, I work on things that are within my control.  I invest my time and make it work.  Over time the sphere of things that are within my control grows, and I feel like I am becoming a master of my world.

What are you working on now?  Is it within your control?