"Default" behavior

When we go out into the world today, we will likely act, react, talk and think the way we did yesterday.  Why? Because that’s what we always do.

What if we tried something different?  

Feelings by Association

If I know someone from Finland, and I really like that person, what do I think about Finland?  I like the place and I think all the Finnish people are great, and I’d like to go there someday.  Then the person turns on me.  They become a jerk.  All of a sudden, I hate Finland.  People from Finland are jerks and I never want to go there.

Sounds crazy but this is what we do – we make up our minds on how we feel about people, places and things based on association and narrow samples of information.

This person reminds me of someone else who I like (or don’t like).  This event is no good because I heard one time that…  My kids like it, so I do too.  My friend hates it so I do too.

Are our associations always valid?  Do you have associations that limit you?

Confidence comes from competence

We all want to feel confident.  But when we have never done something, or not enough, we are not confident.

Try – develop competence – become confident.

Go ahead – take a chance

Risk looking like a fool.  Risk failure.  Risk wasting time.  Risk getting out of your own comfort zone.

You can’t discover something new for yourself unless you have the courage to try.

The battle is always with us.

To grow to reach our potential, we must ovecome who we are now.  We must change our beliefs, fight our ego and escape our current self-image.  If we refuse to wage this fight, instead accepting it all as who we are, then, we will remain the same.

Who you are is only a stepping stone to who you can be.  Don’t stop here.

Trying harder doesn't always work

What if you are doing it wrong?

Notice the results you are getting, adjust how you are doing it, and try again.

Repeat.

Persist in that cycle.

Waitresses who smile get bigger tips

A study showed that waiters and waitresses who smile a lot get 140% bigger tips.

What does that say about how to – get rapport, make friends, get agreement, sell well, be happy?

Smile.

Friends of the new you

If you were going to throw your life away and turn to crime, you’d get some new shady friends who accepted you as a criminal, right?

Well, what about when you want to change to be a higher version of yourself? Some friends will be happy for us. But it may be possible that we have friends who don’t like the idea that we are getting better and spending our time in different ways. Those are friends you’ll have to leave behind.

When given a choice to be our best selves or staying a lesser version to make others happy, the choice is clear. Don’t you think?

Confusion Comes with Improvement

When we are moving from the old us to the new one, we can feel confused. We had our old habits, our old self-image, and we were very comfortable with it. Maybe it didn’t yield the results that we now call our goals, but it was familiar and predictable – and others knew “who we were.”  

Now that we’re trying to grow and be a new version of ourselves, we are doing different things, spending time with different people, learning new things, and it feels strange and foreign. We question ourselves. Our ego says “This is not you. Go back.”

This is a normal part of growing. Like your first day of high school – you’d rather go back to 8th grade where you were a big dog and had some command of your life.  

Don’t turn back. You’ll get through it and soon enough it will feel comfortable.  

Grow.

Make tomorrow better

We can’t live in the future.  The future will never get here.  When tomorrow comes, it will be today.  It’s always today.  But what today is like is a direct result of what we did yesterday.

Do you make a direct connection between what you are doing today and what tomorrow will be like for you?