"Active pursuit" energizes us
When we are doing what is most important to us, chasing the goals that are meaningful to us, we are energized and time falls away. We don't feel like it's work, and our best selves come out to make progress. Have you felt that way? When? Do you feel that…
Clarity – then time management
To manage your actions within time well, first, you have to prioritize. There are so many things we could be doing at any one time, we have to choose. How would we know if we managed our time well? You have to get clarity on what is most important. What…
You can't manage time
You can't manage time - it keeps going at the same speed. You can't get more of it, buy more of it, or make it slow down. All you can do is manage yourself and your own actions in the context of time. Would you say you manage yourself well?
Responsibilities and Benefits
Clarence Thomas is an associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. The following is an excerpt from a speech he gave at Hillsdale College on May 14, 2016. "I knew no one who was surprised at President Kennedy's famous exhortation in his 1961 Inaugural Address: 'Ask not…
Regrets
Most of the things we regret are things we didn't do. This is confirmed by listening to people who are at the end of their life. What will you regret not doing?
Are people stopping you?
Are there people stopping you from becoming all you can or who you want to be? First, ask are they really stopping you or are you letting them because you care what they think or want their approval? Is it you after all? There may be people who are trying…
Logging out of reality
When we go online we log out of reality. There is plenty to do there. In fact, you could be there forever and never see it all. At a given time, is that good for you?
Great relationships – great life
We're not taking anything with us. In our final days, stuff won't even matter anymore. Accomplishing things is great, but how great would it be without anyone to share it with? Meaningful relationships make life rich and worth living.
"Possessions possess"
I am all for having cool stuff that enables a "better" life, but here's what I know: every possession is a responsibility. It costs us money and you have to find a place for it, dust it, check its oil, clean it, heat it, move it, protect it from harm,…
Imagination
"The Possible's slow fuse is lit by the imagination." -Emily Dickinson Imagination is how we create, solve problems, design a better future, and plan. The young are good at imagination - they don't know the limits, so they ignore them. The old are good at imagination - they understand the…
"Active pursuit" energizes us
When we are doing what is most important to us, chasing the goals that are meaningful to us, we are energized and time falls away. We don’t feel like it’s work, and our best selves come out to make progress.
Have you felt that way? When?
Do you feel that way now?
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Clarity – then time management
To manage your actions within time well, first, you have to prioritize. There are so many things we could be doing at any one time, we have to choose. How would we know if we managed our time well?
You have to get clarity on what is most important. What are your most important goals? What are the things that will have the deepest, most significant impact on your life? What are the next steps to getting there?
Once you have clarity on that, then plan your most important activities into your day and week, making them a priority over less important, less meaningful things.
To spend time on this is to NOT spend it on that. Time management is about excluding/ignoring/eliminating many things, so you can focus on the vital one thing at a time.
When you have spent your day on the most important thing, you have spent your time well.
I am tired of pretending that sitting together in front of the tv is family time. How is watching someone else considered spending time “with” my loved ones?
We sit on the couch, each in his own world, spending our precious life watching how others live.
I am tired of that.
I want to talk, touch and play.
The kids love it and I love their smiles and embrace. I guess I am still a big kid at heart.
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You can't manage time
You can’t manage time – it keeps going at the same speed. You can’t get more of it, buy more of it, or make it slow down.
All you can do is manage yourself and your own actions in the context of time.
Would you say you manage yourself well?
Because I unexpectedly have the day off from my project, I’m going to use this day to get caught up so that by the weekend I will give myself a full days off from work. I’d have liked to do nothing today but know I’ll be much more satisfied being doubly productive.
There is always room for improvement.
I am working on not getting worked up over things I can not change right this moment. Getting angry over debates, tv shows, and bus schedules seems like a big waste of my time and energy.
I will focus on doing the things that are good for me, things that make me happy and proud of myself.
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Responsibilities and Benefits
Clarence Thomas is an associate justice of the Supreme Court of the United States. The following is an excerpt from a speech he gave at Hillsdale College on May 14, 2016.
“I knew no one who was surprised at President Kennedy’s famous exhortation in his 1961 Inaugural Address: ‘Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.’ That sentiment was as common as saying the Pledge of Allegiance or singing the National Anthem. Today there is much more focus on our rights and what we are owed, and much less on our obligations and duties – unless, of course, it is about our duty to submit to some new proposed policy.
My grandfather often reminded us that if we didn’t work we didn’t eat, and that if we didn’t plant, we couldn’t harvest. There is always a relationship between responsibilities and benefits. In agrarian societies, that is more obvious. As society becomes more complex and specialized, it is more difficult to discern. But it is equally true. If you continue to run up charges on your credit card, at some point you reach your credit limit. If you continue to make withdrawals from your savings account, you eventually deplete your funds.
Likewise, if we continue to consume the benefits of a free society without replenishing or nourishing that society, we will eventually deplete that as well. If we are content to let others do the work of replenishing and defending liberty while we consume the benefits, we will someday run out of other people’s willingness to sacrifice – or even out of courageous people willing to make the sacrifice.”
An absolute truth. Politician are attempting to give our country away for votes. (Power)
My grandfather used to tell me “ learn more, earn more “ but we must be willing to do the work ! They grew up during the “ Great Depression”
I love the message of personal responsibility. It was true when we were kids…and true now as well.
I love this post.
If my Mom was able to survive during summer breaks in a makeshift trailer home parked in front of an empty lot, with us (3 girls), while my carpenter dad was working on building a home from all the pennies (Romanian currency-LEI) my mom saved up, others can make it too.
It did take about 10 years and a lot of weeding in the garden before we were able to call it a home but working hard does produce results, including blisters, pride and self confidence.
It is up to us to make sure our Children learn these values and hopefully pass on to their Children. It is becoming more difficult in this world for them to get it anywhere else.
Thanks for the post. Great reminder for us all in our responsibilties.
Well said, Larry.
Well said Larry! The Clarance Thomas quote is worthy of being shared. Freedom, wealth, prosperity, good will, responsible charity, and even peace is augmented in a society where personal responsibility is foundational. A society of entitlement minded, irresponsible people becomes weak, dependent, and unhappy. It doesn’t take long to deplete the wealth, destroy the opportunity for prosperity, and then surrender our personal freedoms once we as a society are brain washed by the media into walking down the road of irresponsibility and begin embracing our so called “rights & entitlements”. A “right” that depends on others giving up their rights is not a right at all. “Rights” that depend on the government to plunder your neighbor and take the fruits of his labor and planning are not rights at all! Redistribution of wealth by government is not only legalized thievery it is horribly inefficient and wasteful!
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Regrets
Most of the things we regret are things we didn’t do. This is confirmed by listening to people who are at the end of their life.
What will you regret not doing?
I do not have regrets.
I did what felt right and what I could to my best capabilities at any given moment. I fought for myself and I fought for my dreams and that knowledge in its own makes me feel fulfilled.
I followed my inner voice.
Larry asked a question and I love that he makes me think. What will I regret not doing?
If I do everything I want to do today I should not have any regrets tomorrow.
If I wake up tomorrow thinking about something I forgot, or something I messed up, or something I said that wasn’t right, or something I didn’t do that will be a task I will correct tomorrow.
But today, I am the mistress of my fate.
I will regret if I do not go to get a hair cut to look more put together during tomorrows job interview. Also, I will regret not sharing a line that stuck with me from a book I read: ‘God lives where they allow him to enter’.
In my own awkward way I show my love and affection to the man I love and the people I care about. Am I perfect? Far from it. But, I love to be part of this community and for the opportunity to grow and become a better version of myself every single new day.
If today is my last day I will leave in peace because I know I followed my inner voice.
I think introspection is a good thing. Not long ago I made a list of “regrets”, and as I pondered each one, I realized that many life lessons were learned in this process, and identified how I became stronger and more resilient because of them. Life will always be full of ups and downs. Celebrate the “ups” and learn from the “downs”.
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Are people stopping you?
Are there people stopping you from becoming all you can or who you want to be?
First, ask are they really stopping you or are you letting them because you care what they think or want their approval? Is it you after all?
There may be people who are trying to stop you from being your best self and achieving your dreams. They may be afraid to lose you, afraid you’ll make them look bad, not understand your choices, or just envious.
You must be strong enough to stand up to them, or strong enough to ignore them.
Achieving your dreams takes guts – to go after it, and to leave what must be left behind.
I think if I’m being honest, sometimes I am the one standing in my own way and stopping from reaching for dreams because here, it can be crippling if I start thinking about failing. Working on getting out of my own way.
you are so right
Most people do what they are told to do. They follow their leaders instructions. It is not wise or fair to that innocent soul to condemn them. Digging to the root of the problem creates a wall with one person posing in the front. The shepherd of the sheep.
Both my families blessed me with the title of “black sheep”. Can you guess why?
A black sheep will always stick out even when it does its best to blend with the crowd. Embracing the title is a struggle most of the time because someone has to budge and allow the other to pass.
Since I am a fragile sensitive girl I try to pick my battles wisely. Seeing others jump or fold is painful, especially when there is no real reason for mass destruction.
Thanks for the shout out!
I agree with Sharon…I am more likely get in my own way.
I find that I that I get what I give people. I am an optimist and tend to avoid pessimists. The result of this filter is that the people in my personal life are supportive and want the best for me…lucky me!
Professionally, the culture at CT Basement Systems is also one with optimism. The team is amazing. Jason and I have been interviewing together and I look for this quality, among other qualities during the interview.
A positive attitude is as contagious as is a negative attitude.
Thanks Larry. Great message for today that really hits home.
Thank you for giving us a glimpse of Lisa. She’s a great photographer and we love having her on our team.
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Logging out of reality
When we go online we log out of reality. There is plenty to do there. In fact, you could be there forever and never see it all.
At a given time, is that good for you?
Cool picture ! Really makes you think about evolution and where some people go with it ( backwards).Internet, with cell phones really take this to a new level. You see kids ( sometimes mine included:) not even engaged with family conversations at dinner our going out to a great restaurant. My wife makes them put phones in center of table, and the first to grab theirs has to pay the bill……funny no one grabs their phone :))
Does this mean we shouldn’t be reading your blogs? 😉
Truth! (And, no, it is not good for you.)
It doesn’t matter who you are or how you look. What matters is what you do. Connecting to the matrix is inevitable if one wants to earn a living and communicate with a selected part of the world. But the danger is slick and stealthy.
Instead of watching others live their life every single afternoon on a screen, I choose to play word games and run around with the kids. I get some exercise, we laugh a lot and feel much closer to each other at the end of the day.
Hearing them giggle and say, ‘this was so much fun’ always puts me in a better state.
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Great relationships – great life
We’re not taking anything with us. In our final days, stuff won’t even matter anymore.
Accomplishing things is great, but how great would it be without anyone to share it with?
Meaningful relationships make life rich and worth living.
You’re speaking truth here, Larry.
I met a good friend yesterday and somehow I was listening to a description about another person. First I was engulfed by the drama but than I realized I never even met the described person.
Why do I allow someone else’s description to cloud my judgement.
I will decide about the person when I will have the pleasure to meet with them, work with them, talk with them, and spend a longer period together working as a team.
Until then my judgement is cloudy and it is not based on personal experiences. Be vigilant when you listen or read other people’s descriptions and presentations.
And most of all do not let yourself be sucked into someone else’s private struggle without wearing a rain coat.
The rain coat will remind you that we are all humans working on creating peace within so we can create and share meaningful relationships with each other.
As a side note (because the inner teacher can not seem to stay quiet): not every relationship is healthy or equally beneficial, friends, work, family. Sometimes the knowledge of being accepted or the amount of earned income is not worth sacrificing the inner balanced, peace and fill of joy that the feel of equal contribution creates …
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"Possessions possess"
I am all for having cool stuff that enables a “better” life, but here’s what I know: every possession is a responsibility.
It costs us money and you have to find a place for it, dust it, check its oil, clean it, heat it, move it, protect it from harm, insure it, winterize it, take it for walks, water it, store it, inventory it, house it, maintain it, pay taxes on it, register it, and then sell it, auction it or throw it away.
Stuff eats up our bandwidth.
“Possessions delude the human heart into believing that they provide security and a worry-free existence, but in truth, they are the very cause of worry.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer 1906-1945
“Every increased possession loads us with new weariness.” – John Ruskin
Dietrich Bonhoeffer…one of my hero’s. Murdered by the Nazi’s because his faith required him to stand up against Hitler.
This post resonates with my attitude towards possessions. I can recall only a few things my parents ever gave me yet I vividly remember almost all trips and adventures we shared. I believe in sharing experience’s and this how I am as a friend and parent today.
So if people were/are so aware of the effect possessions have on ones already existing life why do we go out of our way to reach out, buy, acquire, and possess a beaming shiny object in the first place?
Our programmed sens of need is what invoked the new devil to show up in the living breathing quarters creating havoc.
We either man up and clean out the house and get rid of useless old junk that we allowed to just sit there for years even though we stopped finding joy in their existence a very long time ago,
or
we ignore our discomfort and keep the shelves, closets, garage, attic stuffed with emotional garbage and occasionally stack another beautiful fancy object on top of the already existing piles.
Start cleaning so you can start breathing.
The easier you breath the easier you will find the beautiful self hiding behind a dusty mirror.
Hey Larry…you will never believe it, but we had 5 FEET of water (insert joke here) in our remodeled basement last week, due to flash flooding in our area. We lost a lot of “stuff”, just like that. I thought of you often and thanked the Lord it wasn’t our entire house. We will be displaced about 2 weeks, I again, can’t imagine what you went through with your fire. Needless to say, a lot of “throwing and cleaning” is taking place. Stuff is stuff, it’s not as important as you think it was. Side note: Drywall is disgusting when it’s soaked floor to ceiling. I see TBF down the road…..
I agree with Dave Drescher:
My memories relate to places I went or time I spent with people, not things I own. The things are sometimes required to pursue the adventure, but the Adventure is the goal, the memory and the accomplishment.
There are now books about how to do “Death Cleaning”, which you should begin by age 65. Your kids don’t want your stuff now, and for sure they won’t want it after you are gone!
“You don’t own things, things own you”,
But my dog (Porter) says he is okay with me because I don’t require much bandwidth, his ROI is good!
I would not have agreed with this 20-25 years ago, but now that I am old (49 LOL), I can say that I find this absolutely true in my life.
I absolutely love this. It is true, while some possessions are necessary some are just wants. Recognizing the difference is hard for some people. I don’t want to be held hostage by the things in my life.
I believe that truer words of wisdom have not ever been said – I find only that I wish I had defined this boundary long before reaching this point in my life (67 and still operating my construction company of 47 years) and it wouldn’t be such a job to deal with all of the accumulated stuff over the next three year period!
So True…..ego gets in our way with this one
The more money I make the more stressed out I feel. It really can make a prision out of you. However, it feels great no to worry or count pennies when it comes to pay my bills
I resent the “take it for walks” line.
Dogs (or animals of any sort) are not possessions, nor are they burdens. They are a delightful addition to a family and studies have shown that they actually lengthen a person’s lifespan. My dog has saved me from suicide on more than one occasion. I don’t need any of the other crap in my house, but my dog is a necessity.
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Imagination
“The Possible’s slow fuse is lit by the imagination.” -Emily Dickinson
Imagination is how we create, solve problems, design a better future, and plan.
The young are good at imagination – they don’t know the limits, so they ignore them.
The old are good at imagination – they understand the ingredients available and have some experience.
What have you been struggling with? What would you like to solve? What would be fantastic?
Sit down, and open up your imagination….
This reminds me of the “Brainstorming” I used to do with my team. No idea was discounted- all were collected with no negative comment, regardless of how “off the wall” they were. They let their fantasies fly! Everyone had a chance to contribute, so extrovert/introvert had equal say. It is amazing how one person’s idea would stimulate yet another idea. The the team collectively winnowed down the content to a workable solution satisfactory to all. They owned it!!
a good time for my imagination
How about young experienced old souls? We can not judge someone by their age because we never know what they went through or experienced just by looking at their appearance. Some people at 20 dealt with more than other people at age 50. Age should never be a scale we use to measure a souls capacity to contribute and make a difference in this world.
A body is a tool that could be reconditioned at any point if the occupier decides to change their thinking and take the necessary steps towards the reconditioning training.
Also, some rules are man made therefore only man/woman through their imagination and thinking are capable to change them.
And I am not thinking about gene splicing, cross breathing and DNA modification. I am thinking about social rules. All the pleasantries we were forced to accept because someone made it a rule or a custom.
For example, I do not understand why we need Valentines day to remind us to tell our chosen partner that we love them and spend time with them. Why do we have to express our love through buying a useless stuffed animal?
Why are we forcing ourselves to buy gifts at Christmas when it clearly diminishes the meaning of a true gift?
A true gift comes from the heart and manifests itself any given day of the year.
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Oh yeah!
Right on!
I always feel like it’s silly to say I’m working. I never think of it as anything more than simply doing what I love to do.
I recently allowed myself to get overwhelmed with all the important high value projects that needed to be completed. I felt like I could not do anything. I was locked up! Then I stopped doing everything for 2 days. Disconnected from the day to day and just relaxed, cleared my mind & then focused on what would make the most impact. It became clear that some other high value important projects would have to be postponed to a latter date. Then my sanity returned!
Hi Larry! Yes I feel that way now. Matter of fact I have always felt this way with my job here at MidAmerica! I have never had a job before that the time flys! Daily, weekly, monthly! It seems as though my adventure just started here when in reality I am celebrating 13 years here this year! That is just crazy to even say out loud to me!
Ahhh,
the 6 month chase brought out a side of me that I was repressing because as a child my mom made fun of me after she found and read my journals.
The stress at times got unbearable and I had no other way of channeling my energy so I learned to burn the pages the instant I finished writing. Burned them because tearing them to pieces was not safe enough. The pieces could still be put together allowing to read the puzzle. It happened before and the repercussions were terrible.
This was during Communism in Romania.
I tell myself that her harsh mentoring methods were to keep our family safe. As an adult I know better. I know she went through a rough time herself and us children depended on our mothers strength to cope each day.
I didn’t want to be made fun of so I stopped writing my thoughts down.
Interestingly she loved my drawings and paintings so I transitioned to that kind of self expression instead of writing.
At nights I also offered to rub her shoulders and back because I noticed it made her feel extremely happy and relaxed. She loved my little hands that radiated warmth and healing and served as an acceptable replacement to substitute for the lack of my dads loving caring touch. A dad who was a very hard worker but had a serious alcohol problem for many years.
Why am I sharing this with the world?
Because one man has the courage to make me think by asking a daily question.
The same man had the stamina to say “not yet, but keep going”, igniting a desire to fight back against oppression and allow my thoughts to freely flow.
Him and I are very different but in the same time very alike and in many ways connected. Not in your earthly physical way but in a more meaningful and more profound way. He is real and so am I. The man’s faith is bigger than his heart.
In total, I saw him the 3 times I choose to sit in the audience while I listened to his meaningful message he was sharing with the world.
His message will surprise you, will shock you to the bone, and you will probably end up saying it is too unbelievable and sweep it under your rug. You just keep doing that until one day you will understand that everything they talk about is real and the truth will bring down many walls and its acceptance will require tremendous change.
I reread some of the things I wrote and I am surprised, impressed, and even a midget proud.
The little girl who only passed English because of another little girls mercy who allowed her to copy homework and helped during testing, the little girl who came to America because a shy introverted boy decided she was pretty and kind enough to make a good wife.
Did I really wrote that?
A girl who 14 years ago didn’t even speak English. A girl who already knew about a couple different forms of physical and psychological abuse but had no idea what culture shock was.
Deep down I am disappointed and sad because I am starting a new job this coming Monday.
I should be happy, I tell myself.
I am happy because I am alive and because I found a job.
But thinking about going back to work already makes me feel sluggish. Finding a job was never a problem. I always had at least one full time job where I did my best to keep the team alive.
Even though the new job will pay good money and I will have a lot of freedom to apply my creative problem solving skills to every day tasks, I will also have to touch a lot of papers, reorganize drawers and cabinets, I will have to make phone calls, create lists, determine and stay on top of a sales strategy, hire people, keep the books accurate and cash flow going, a lot of necessary cool stuff which will use up my energy and the time that I spent this past 6 months traveling, meeting new people, and writing about my encounters, the stories I heard and the impressions I was left with.
I am starting to realize that I do enjoy writing, connecting, listening and helping others.
I never thought I could write so openly about the LGBT community, the miracles of life, about the voice that inspired me to strive …
… and now I understand why they do not have a position for me at the organization I was chasing for 6 months …
It is not because I am not capable to fit well in any chosen position or department.
It is because one person saw the spark and he knew better so he followed his own inner voice.
Respect, Gratitude, and Love is what I have to offer as a Thank You to the man who dedicated himself and his life to inspire and encourage the world, you and I.
Hi Larry… I want to thank you for your positive word every day. It helps me to stay on track with my goals.