Only a few goals at a time

Areas you could set goals – 

Family, friends, career, skills, fitness, health, spirituality, hobbies, intimacy, fun, travel, relationship to yourself, making a difference in the world, retirement.  Work in them all and you will fail at them all.  

Pick three areas (for now) and focus your thinking and efforts.

Which two or three are you working on now?

The unproductive conversation in your head

There is a conversation going on in your head and it’s not necessarily productive to where you want to go, who you want to be, and what you want to do.  It may come from beliefs you’ve had for a long time.  It may be reinforcing a decision you made because of what happened one time, that isn’t necessarily true.

Notice.  Do you hear it?  If it’s not helping, call it out and say “that is not right, it’s hurting me”, and overwrite it with a new decision and a new belief that will drive a new conversation in your head.

Be your own hero

The person that is going to save you is you.  Sure, help from others is nice and makes it easier, but it won’t matter without your full commitment and active participation. 

Chances are you have some beliefs and identity that you are holding onto that are producing results you don’t want.  You want new results but don’t want to change inside.

When you face it, see it, own it and then let it go, the superhero has arrived in your life – and it’s you.

Some do, and some don't.

Why is there a gap?

Some do, and some don’t.  Some will, and some won’t.  Some did, and some didn’t.  That’s why.

Will you?

Emotional Intensity

Lots of people SAY they want things.  When we set a goal we are immediately met with challenges and obstacles.  We have to elevate our emotional intensity and conviction to get over and through them. 

How bad do you want it? 

Our desire has to be stronger than the discomfort/pain/obstacles we must overcome.  In a long distance race or big worthy endeavor, the pain and obstacles build and build, but they must never exceed your intense desire and commitment.

 Generate enough energy to get there. Get determined enough. Get strong enough and serious enough. 

Failure? I don't think so.

Yesterday we talked about how you could make negative decisions about yourself when you don’t succeed at something and how those decisions and beliefs about yourself can become a debilitating limiting factor in your life.  Here are some things to keep in mind-

1) Worthy things are not easy.  If it was easy everyone would do it.  Trying something and messing it up or not succeeding the first time is part of actually learning how to do it.  I failed at the Baja 1000 Ironman race two years in a row until I got it right.  Failure is only feedback.  It’s saying you have to try again a different way because when you do it this way this is how it goes.  It’s only failure if you quit before you figure it out by trying and messing it up over and over again until you succeed.

2) Not all of us are going to be good at the same things.  That’s by design.  Don’t compare yourself to others. When you fail at something that wasn’t in your strength zone and it was a goal someone else set for you, it means nothing.  Find what your talents are and develop yourself there.  I may have finished the Baja 1000 Ironman and train business leaders, but I can’t play hockey or figure out the remote control on the TV or write a software program for squat.  I’m good with that.

3) You don’t have to succeed at everything.  There are so many things to do and work at in this world – we are all going to be terrible at a lot of things.  So what?  Just be great at something.  Use your talents and be the best you that you can be. 

4) Stay in your strength zone, and just strive to be better than you were yesterday. Every day I try to make progress toward my big goals.  Some days I do, and some days are tough. Keep going. 

You’re a winner in your arena – that’s what I believe, and you can believe it too!

What missing goals can do to you – if you let it.

You’re 7 years old, 11 years old, 16 years old or 24 years old.  You set goals and you do not achieve them.  You keep missing goals. You start to believe you are a loser and success is for others.  “I don’t deserve”, “I’m not good enough”, “success is for the chosen ones (the popular ones, the rich ones)”, “I can’t be/do/have more”…

You have developed false negative beliefs about yourself, and they are your chains. 

But these beliefs are NOT true.  The past does not equal the future.  Biography does not equal destiny unless you make it so.  

Be careful what you think and expect from yourself, because you will never exceed your expectations.

(Continued tomorrow)

New skills, new opportunities

When we learn new things and develop new skills and competencies, new opportunities and paths open up to us.  If we don’t learn anything new, then we don’t see new opportunities – and others don’t see them in us or for us either.

What are you proactively learning that will open up new opportunities for you?

How much money should you spend this month?

A) More than you earn.

B) As much as you earn.

C) Less than you earn.

Why?

Learn from History

“The problem with the next generation is they haven’t read the minutes of the last meeting.” – Richard Weaver

We are all breaking new ground – especially in this time of rapid change.  But some things, important things, we don’t have to learn the hard way ourselves.  Look at others who have come before us and learn; whether they were a few months ahead of us going through the same class, or 500 years or more ahead of us. 

No sense having to learn it all the hard way; we just don’t have enough time for that.