How much should we expect?

I was reading thoughts on expectations, and honestly, most of them were quite negative.  Like this – 

“Expectations are a hunger for the best in a world that too often provides the worst.” – Dr. Mardy

“A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life.  Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment.” – Douglas Adams

Wow.  These guys are downers! 

How about this one – “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen” – Anne Lamott

or “Life is so constructed that the event does not, cannot, will not meet the expectation.” – Charlotte Bronte

Ok – I call BS.

Having a positive expectation and a belief in your abilities, a good outcome, and a better future is critical to you doing well!  Period!

It seems the people above are talking about expecting something wonderful that you don’t work for, and persist towards when there are setbacks.  Maybe it was their expectation that in fact was the problem – they expected it would be easy!

We must be skillful at this thing called expectation and belief if we are to live a high-performance life; the balancing of positive expectation with reality.  We must expect to improve, to do well, to become better.  At the same time, we understand what it will take to get there and we are prepared to pay that price.  We make no illusions that other people will deliver success to us.  It’s up to us.

In my time, when I have been most disappointed, I did have high expectations; but they were based on false facts or an absence of facts, or facts I ignored because I wanted it to turn out so badly.  But what happened wasn’t what disappointed me in the end.  I can see now that it was my poor construction of expectations at the beginning that was the setup for the upsetting ending.

I misused my power of imagination and my expectations were fantasy.  My bad.

When some grand expectation is not met, some people stop “dreaming”, or give up and become bitter, and start expecting the worst.  Don’t do that.

Expect that you can do more, be more, and make more great things happen.  Know that some people will help you, some will ignore you, most won’t care about you and your goals (that’s ok), and some will be jealous/envious/or stupid jerks (just get away from them, don’t try to change them).

Get lots of information from the right sources to form challenging but realistic expectations.  If you find your expectations were unrealistic while chasing them, adjust them.

Expect to work hard for what you want.  The greater the goal, the more work and time it will require.

Will you be let down at times?  Yes.  Progress is not a straight line.  But keep going.  Believe in yourself.  And believe in a life of your own construction.

Will everyone see this email?

If it’s inflammatory, stupid or insulting – maybe they will!

Don’t put anything in an email that will embarrass you in the future. 

Assume the whole world will see your email.

New Podcast!

My friend Zach Cohen who runs a Junkluggers franchise in Manhattan and has over 100 employees started a podcast recently.  He interviewed me – and here is the episode!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSz3RKUcTpk

Scarcity conciousness

Scarcity consciousness is thinking that there isn’t enough to go around; that more for them is less for me.

It’s believing in lack, versus abundance.

Scarcity consciousness breeds envy, jealousy, and thoughts of unfairness and injustice.  Often it can be used, consciously or unconsciously, as an excuse for not doing what it takes to share in the abundance that is out there.

The reality is there is plenty to go around. 

See it. 

Move on it as you wish – and as you are willing.

Victim Thinking

There seems to be a lot of this going around today – “I am a victim”.

Are there real “victims” in the world – yes.  But what many point to in order to prove it is just an excuse or failure to take responsibility.

Declaring you’re a victim of some overarching conspiracy and believing it can be self debilitating – especially when you can’t change what you are pointing to as your oppressor/aggresor.  If you believe it, you begin to live like a victim and take your own power away.

Are there people who don’t share your views and goals?  Of course, just as you don’t understand so many others.

Is life hard at times?  Of course.  But “hard” is relative.  Life, on the whole, is very easy by historical standards.

I refuse to be a victim.  I’m going to take advantage of this opportunity.

How about you?

Limitation thinking

Here’s the thing about people – we created our own limits.

We’re like the elephant tied to a stake who can just pull it out if we knew we could.  But we don’t really know we can – until we do it.

Never having done something before is no indication that you can’t do it.

What false box have you created for yourself?

Courage drives growth

Being scared and acting anyway means you are about to grow.

It’s a sign that your progress is about to accelerate.

You will have a breakthrough, or learn something, or lose the fear that’s been holding you back.

Just because you are afraid, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

Health is a vehicle not a destination

Being healthy is like having the vehicle to do everything else you want to do while you are here.

If you lose the vehicle, then you aren’t going to do much.

The time to think about that is now and always.

Life is a temporary experience

In 100 years all of us here today will be gone.

Treat your life like the precious and limited opportunity that it is.

Don't feel like it?

Do it and you will.

You can’t run your life based on what you feel like doing.

Feelings – behaviors – Identity.  That won’t get you good results.

Run it from identity.  I am _______.  I see myself as________.

Identity – behaviors – feelings.