"Success" is up to you

Success should be measured by you and how you live compared to the vision you have of your best self.

BUT – your vision will be based on you knowing your potential and what is available to YOU.

Do you recognize what you can do now?

Have good bad days

People talk about “raising the roof” – having better “best days”.  But progress toward your most important meaningful goals takes many many days.  

How about days when we don’t feel it, have a setback or when things don’t go our way?

“Raising the basement” and having better bad days can make as much of a difference as having better best days.  When it’s not a great day, don’t give up on the whole day –  see what you can make of it.

Higher highs are great, but see if you can have higher lows.

One day is simply a part of a long continuous journey.  Tomorrow begins where today leaves off.

Beat yesterday

Don’t compare yourself to anyone else but who you were yesterday.

Make you proud.  

Beat yesterday.

Highly connected – and lonely

People today, especially young people, are more connected than ever, yet more lonely than ever.

People need in-person interaction.  We need social circles that support healthy behavior.  We need to get together with groups of people who share the same interest that they understand – and understand them.  We need a small group of 4 to 5 close friends.  And we need one close confidant that they can share anything with.

(The number one reason people see a counselor is loneliness.)

Social Media is not going to cut it for long, nor is long-distance learning or working remotely. The metaverse is no place for us either.  Living on a screen or through one ain’t makin’ it.

People are wired to be in groups for survival.  Without the group, we couldn’t take care of ourselves, and we died.  The human strategy depends on belonging.  It’s baked into our nervous system.

Lack of belonging brings about shame, anger, loneliness, and depression.

Do you have your people and do you get with them in person – enough?

Your yesterdays created your today

Health, finances, reputation, friends, relationships, fulfillment – good or bad – you did this to yourself.

If you want something to change, you have to change how you think and who you are being each day.

What is it?

Learning a lesson before you need it

Lately, I have come across several decision points where I knew what to do beforehand because of what I have learned along my journey.  The answer was counter to my immediate human emotional urge, but I knew that long term it was the right thing to do – so I calmed down and did the right thing for the long term.

A younger less experienced, less wise me would either have made the wrong decision or languished over an internal struggle – and even felt like a victim or angry.

Learning lessons from your past or better yet from someone else before the next time you need that wisdom, and applying it when those situations arise will save you time and mental strife.

If you become an improved thinker in this way, as you get older you get better – and better.

What are you doing this year?

It’s 2023.  

What are you going to do this year that is memorable, fun, exciting, and/or a big step forward for you this year?

It’s March now.  Get on it!

Create and give more value than you consume

You get rewarded in life based on your contribution to others.  

If you give more than you take, you will almost always be in a good position.

Can you see that in people around you?

How is that working out for you?

Kindness

No matter what you do, you can do it with kindness toward other people.  Being kind is a gift that can make you feel better.

“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees.” – Amelia Earhart

“When I was young, I admired clever people.  Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” – Abraham Joshua Heschel 

Eliminate options

It’s an amazing time to be alive.  Because of the freedom our forefathers constructed, the rule of law, and free market capitalism, we all (in countries with these ingredients) have countless options for what to eat tonight, how to entertain ourselves, who to date, and what to do with our days and with our lives.

This is great.  And it’s a problem.

You can’t do two things at a time.  If you try you will not do them well, and not enjoy them.

When we are young, there is a time for trying this and trying that to find out what we like and want to choose.  This is important.  Find the paths that resonate with your talents and your soul. But at some point, the search needs to end and the “fear of missing out” or “fear of making the wrong choice” needs to give way to making your choice and getting better at it/with it.

So your job is to eliminate options.  Pick one meal to eat.  One person to be in a relationship with.  One career you love to get great at.  One place to live.

Can you change your mind if you made the wrong choice?  Yes.  Can you add something once you have one thing mastered?  Yes.  But no choice is always the wrong choice.

By choosing and eliminating, and focusing your incredible powers, focus, and energies, going deep in one area instead of shallow in many, you will have a far better chance at living a rewarding and fulfilling life.