A parent is a young childs search engine.
The parent gives them the answers they want.
That ends when they get a phone.
Then the child doesn’t need the parent nearly as much. They will come around when they are hungry.
You are not nearly as interesting or entertaining as their phone. Your influence diminishes. You do not see them so much anymore.
They do not socialize in person as much as if they had no phone. Their social skills wither or are not developed.
Many are less active, and many will have less muscle mass than before phones.
You can’t control what they see. They will see the opinions of others that they may adopt over yours.
They may see bad stuff. They may see adult stuff. They will see conflicting stuff.
They will see worthless nonsense designed to keep their valuable attention day and night.
They will likely turn into bigger consumers than otherwise.
If you don’t take their phone away, they will get less sleep.
That’s the bad part.
Here’s the good part –
….
ummm….
….
Thinking here….
Oh – they will be able to learn a lot, having access to the world’s information – assuming they are searching for something useful.
They will become comfortable with technology, which is a necessary skill in today’s world.
They could dig in on their passion and find and see what the best in the world are doing, and be inspired and learn.
You can call them and they can call you. You can see where they are. You can text them.
Those are some big negatives and big positives.
What age should you/did you get your kids a phone?
Tell me with the orange button!
You are spot on. I think the main issue is parenting, and the lack there of. I remember the dinner table was the place to discuss your day, issues, goals, and questions.
That’s been replaced with these devices, unfortunately. I believe computer games, chat rooms & personal robots, are a disease left unchecked and untreated will lead our future generation to demise.
As you stated with proper supervision and a desire to learn they can be a useful tool for good. It starts in the home.
Keep up the good work, enjoy your posts. Also keep on off-roading!
Respectfully
Chuck
My kids get a phone when they are old enough to drive. We don’t encourage early driving so that’s 16 years old here. We have tracking on the phone so we can see where they are in case something happens.
Phones are expected to be used as tools and education devices but inevitably they become entertainment devices as well. However, they are closely monitored in order that they don’t spend too much time on them. I always preach that learning is only good so long as you spend time putting what you learned to work.
One son has learned and continues to learn about automobile mechanics and runs his own shop now at age 23.
My next son learned cabinet making and woodworking and is working full time running our cabinet shop and building and installing cabinets for our customers at age 21.
My daughter is learning horticulture and can make just about anything grow. She is way into roses and has even cultured some of her own unique species at age 19.
All of that was made possible by information that’s really accessible on their phones. All of the negatives you mention are there as well but we encourage them to focus on the positives and then put that knowledge to work. The rewards of the fruits of their labor is far greater than any endorphins they might get from social media and other types of wastes of time.
As with anything, the solution to kids on their phones is not government intervention but more parental oversight.
My children got track phones when they were 16
My twin boys are 12. Still no phones yet. Almost every friend they have at their age has one. Crazy!
When they can pay for it themselves. That will teach them to save their money and encourage them to do chores for extra money. Worked for me back in the day, I still don’t buy anything I can’t pay for with my own money.
13 years old for our kids…and all the negatives you mention we see…
My kids got their own phones at 16 when they started driving and doing things with out us, that way we can keep in touch with them. They had tablets mostly for school at age 8, but that was way too early. That was a mistake on our part, they will never get their childhood back.
My wife and I are presently struggling with this for all of the reasons you have provided. There has to be parameters. Unfortunately with their devices, those tend to get skewed when we are busy. It’s much easier to let them veg out on the devices than have them bothering us while we are trying to work or get things done. It’s setting boundaries and sticking to them. We are struggling with getting out 11 year old a phone for her birthday. That seems crazy young to me, but she is actually the last of her friends to have one. I do see the benefit, because we will leave her home at times and we need to be able to get ahold of her, but we also see the limitations that must be set and adhered to. It’s a great tool but can also be a great problem. Not something that can be taken lightly or ignored.
Great post on many levels, we gave the kids phones with limits when they were 12 . Our rule, NO phones at the dinner table!
That time was held for each persons highs and lows of their day, then discussion about each. IMO parents need to be the driving force in their kids world, be a parent first, friendship with your children will come if you set the correct course with them early.
My daughter and son are a part of my everyday world even in their 30’s and Im truly blessed because of that.
13 for my boys, wish i waited longer.
Son is 11 now we keep saying no way. We told him high school.
Ella didn’t get a phone till she was 15 and it was a flip phone. She could text, we had location tracking and call. She didn’t get a smart phone till she was 19 and it was a gift when she went in the Navy. Kids today all have school issued laptops you have to purchase, so they can look up information that way.
5th grade. Biggest issue is the internet became my sons trusted source over anything we could say or backup with our own search. Same son decided to go to West Point for college. He is mid way through his 6 weeks of basic with no phone or device. Got a mid way call on Sunday and guess what; miraculous awareness and humility have developed. In the case of my son, much more than his sisters, the influence of technology created huge risk to his development. We could not be more grateful he found his way to West Point and the challenges of basic training, aka Beast. He will have a much likelihood of maximizing his potential.