Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 14

My Gratitude Book

For years, when people wrote me a letter of thanks or email or note that they appreciated my leadership or working at my company or something I did for them, I three-hole punched them and saved them in a binder. I had multiple binders full of such notes. When the fire took them away, I began again. In 5 years, I have accumulated two fat binders of such letters.

If I lose my way, or feel like I am low on the meaning of why I do what I do, I scan some of the papers and card stock in one of my Gratitude Books. It reminds me of how I have the power to touch lives and make them better. It’s an awesome power that should not be abused, but used to the fullest while I am here. It is my purpose. The book is responses from individual hearts to how I am doing.

“You can get anything in life you want, if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

Use Your Voice Well

Your voice is how you communicate. It reveals what’s inside you. Use it well. Your volume, your intention, your tone and the body language you have while saying it – it all counts. You can say the words “I believe you can do better” or even “Thank you” and leave the other person feeling lifted or defeated.

Words are part of the communication. How you say them is perhaps even more important.

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 13

Be a Person Others Want to Follow

If you have nasty habits, can’t control yourself, are disrespectful to some people, are disorganized and undisciplined, your expression of caring will mean less. Hopefully you’ve heard others say, “Coming from you, it means a lot.” Be a person of value, and your words will mean more.

If you started your business because nobody else would hire you, you’ll have trouble getting others to follow you. Nobody is perfect, but get your act together. Work on you when nobody is looking. Keep your standards high, personally and professionally. Be impeccable with your word. Be a source of integrity and honor. When you speak, it will mean something.

Being a disciplined person who has their own life together earns you the right to challenge others to be their best.

PEOPLE CAN’T LIVE ON LOVE ALONE

Obviously, we’re not advocating everyone sitting around holding hands and singing “Kumbaya” all day. Love is not incongruent with high expectations, high performance, discipline and high standards. It’s for you to bring both and balance the two.

Some people need more of one and less of the other, and vice versa. People are different. Bring out the best in your team.

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 12

How to kill Love at work.

You’ve spent a lot of time, or will, showing people you care about them and their work and that you appreciate them being here. Then come the tests. Don’t blow it now. Here’s what NOT do to, even once –

Lose your temper. If you feel it coming – go home right away.

Yell at someone, in public or private.

Call people names.

Gossip about someone – they will find out.

Be in it for yourself, and abandon a team member.

Sacrifice a team member to save yourself (with a customer for example).

Take a “leader vs. team” attitude or position.

See yourself as better than anyone.

Mistreat someone for any reason.

Accountability

Team members being accountable to goals, tasks completed, and making their numbers sounds great and there is nothing wrong with it. But to an employee, when the leader says “You have to be accountable” or “Were going to start having accountability around here”, it doesn’t sound very friendly; it sounds like a threat to them. If we’re to be honest, too often it is.

How we express things matters; the words we chose, what our intention is, and how we use our voice. Carrot or stick; be careful. Accomplishing very short term goals at the expense of a positive mutually caring relationship is not a wise trade. Deposits to a relationship take time, patience and purposeful action. Involuntary withdrawals can be sudden and extreme. 

There were times when an employee really messed up; I mean big; I had a cause and an opportunity to really pound them verbally. I didn’t take it. They knew they messed up. They tortured themselves. I actually built them up instead.

These moments are big. They are tests and people are watching. You can’t undo what is already done. Sure, there’s crisis management that needs to be done with customers and property. But when you show grace and love in times when people expect you to freak out, it shows what is really inside you.

When something really bad happens, go calm.

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 11

Give Away the Credit

We need to understand that we have the need to be recognized too. Run amuck, we take credit for everything good that happens in our company. In some way it’s true; we set up the circumstances and caused things to happen. But we couldn’t do it without others. A smart leader gives away the credit.

The opposite is to take the credit and not give any to those who worked to get it done. That’s a recipe for having disgruntled people.

When things go wrong, take the blame. Stand in front of your people and say “I’m sorry guys. I didn’t get it done. Maybe I didn’t communicate well or often enough, and maybe I didn’t get you what you need to do the job, or I didn’t train you guys well. But I pledge to do better starting now.” You’ll get people wanting to do more to make it right that way, than by blaming others. 

“Brains on the whole, are like hearts, and they go where they are appreciated.” – Robert S. McNamara

Are we exaggerating or simplifying here? Are there any times when you acknowledge that someone fell down on the job? Well… you hired them and put them in that position, right? If they did well, your inner self would want to take the credit. If they did not, you have to take the blame.

If you ever did need to lay blame on someone, you certainly would not do it in public anyway. People know who did what. Get up there and lead. Show that your ego is not in the way.

“You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort.” – Brene Brown

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 10

I’ve got a job to do – where do I find time to do all this loving?

“The way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement.” – Charles M. Schwab

It’s true. Showing you care takes time. But like anything else, if we recognize the power in it and make it a priority, it gets done. You could set up your environment to make it easy. How? Put note cards and thank you cards on your desk where you can see them every day. If you can see it and it’s within arm’s reach, you make it easy. You’ll look at the pile of notecards and ask, “Did I recognize anyone today?” Maybe you reach for a note card and maybe you send a text or an email or buy a gift or something else.You could put a reminder on your calendar and schedule it each week or even each day until it becomes a habit. Do what you must, but do it. Shower people with recognition, praise and gratitude. It’s part of the job if you are doing it well.

“The greatest humiliation in life is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.” – E. W. Howe

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 9

Shower people with praise, recognition, and gratitude.

“A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

If there were any “hard strategy” in this exercise, this is it. Make it a practice to tell people you are glad they are here, happy they are on your team, and that they are doing a great job. Acknowledge their attitude, their commitment, and their work. Tell them you believe in them, that you are a fan, and know they will grow here. Acknowledge small acts, and broad behaviors. Constantly tell people you appreciate them.

If there were any “hard strategy” in this exercise, this is it. Make it a practice to tell people you are glad they are here, happy they are on your team, and that they are doing a great job. Acknowledge their attitude, their commitment, and their work. Tell them you believe in them, that you are a fan, and know they will grow here. Acknowledge small acts, and broad behaviors. Constantly tell people you appreciate them.

The words of the leader are far more powerful than anyone else’s – and those words are free. Manufacture these powerful performance stimulators regularly.

How? Note cards. Post-it notes. In public on a bulletin board or white board. In a meeting. With a note in their paycheck envelope. Verbally. Mail it to their home. Put it in their locker. Leave a little gift. Give them food or a snack and a sincere note. Give them an award. Name an award after them. There are 1000 ways.

“One cares so little for the style in which one’s praises are written.”- Edith Wharton

Remember the least of your employees. The top performers get all the praise and recognition. Go down to the quiet ones, the supporters, the day-in-and-day-outers. Be sincere. Be intentional. Be grateful.

These people are dedicating their lives to your organization. Sincerity and gratitude should not be hard to muster. Be sincere and change up how you express it from time to time. 

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies. But let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessing.” – Henry Ward Beecher 

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 8

Love starts with the leader.

“Connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives meaning and purpose to our lives.” – Brene Brown

SMILE

Smiling at another person shows acceptance and appreciation. It sounds too simple, but it’s not. As people see you in the hallway, the shop, the yard, the first thing they should see coming is a smile.

Sincerity

Smiles and words of encouragement and caring are empty if you’re not sincere. People have their “BS meter” going all the time. Sincerity is when you really mean it. How do you express sincerity? You don’t do it intentionally. If you really care, it comes through in your tone of voice, your eyes, your face, and your actions.

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 7

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” – Mark Twain

Everyone is fighting a great battle within themselves. 

It’s easy to see people who show up showered and dressed and ready to work as having normal put-together, well-adjusted lives and being here, centered, and willing to serve us. But the reality is that almost everybody, at some point, is fighting a great battle within themselves or at home.

Maybe they’re lonely or sick. Maybe a loved one has turned to drugs. Maybe they’re getting divorced. Maybe they are a single mother. Maybe they suffer from low self-esteem inflicted by struggling parents who didn’t know any better. Maybe they can’t pay their bills. Maybe they have to support a disabled child. Maybe they are looking for meaning, or just attention of any kind.

The reality is that you have the power to make work the best part of someone’s life. We have said entrepreneurship is the power to create oneself, but it’s also the power to impact others’ lives for half of their waking hours. That is an awesome power.

Empathy is the ability to understand another’s feelings. It’s different than sympathy, which is agreeing or supporting one’s feelings. Great leaders understand people and life and how they respond or react emotionally to events and challenges, whether those responses are the same as the ones the leader would choose or not. They understand that you can never understand another person unless they ARE them and have lived the same life. Showing empathy is the first step. Helping people believe in themselves, being the best version of themselves and being a bright spot in their day follows.

When people feel like their leader cares about them, it matters more than you can know. When a leader cares, they build trust and caring in their team members, and amongst each other. Over time, an ecosystem of caring emerges among all team members.

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 6

“I will not let you fail”

A leader brings out the best in other people while accomplishing the goals of the organization. If you have the attitude “I will not let you fail”, they know it. You have high expectations and encourage them, recognizing even small steps of progress.

You do not give up on anyone. If you decide a team member is not right here, you excuse them from your company with dignity and care. Otherwise, you understand that it’s your job to see that everyone that’s here will succeed.

You trust them. You give them what they need to succeed – training, tools, support. You have high expectations for them because you believe in them, not just because you want the fruits of their successful labors. You have their back. You support them when they make a mistake. You give them credit. You don’t let them down.

People Crave Recognition

“The deepest principle of human nature is to be appreciated.” – William James

The owner of Brown Roofing, Eddie Griffin, tells a story. When he was 14 years old, things were not going well at home with his family. He ran away and wound up at a friend’s house. His friend’s dad, Gary Brown, found him in the garage and asked what he was doing there. The 14-year-old Eddie told Mr. Brown that he was wondering if he could stay there. Gary Brown stared down at the young Eddie, and paused for a long while. “Why don’t you come to work with me and pick up around the jobsite?”

Gary Brown was a roofer and perhaps he saw that Eddie could be some cheap or even free labor, and perhaps he had a soft spot and was helping Eddie out. Not long after, Mr. Brown told Eddie to work on taking down a three-story-high chimney with just a sledgehammer. He left Eddie at the job.

Later that afternoon he came back and found Eddie, black with soot, and a three-story chimney that had been single-handedly taken down to the ground. A pile of bricks and blackened clay tile sections remained. Gary was amazed and praised young Eddie.

Eddie said he would have done anything for that man, and for that recognition again. And he did. He never left the company. Today he owns it.

Love – The greatest leadership tool – PART 5

Building a great team is job number one for a leader.

Who you are has everything to do with it. You are the common denominator in your relationships with Daniel, Suzanne, Rocky, Javier and the (28) other people on your team.

Love and intention behind your actions

There’s what you do, and there’s how you do it. An organization can do everything “right” but have a hollow culture. When leaders really care about the team, and the team really cares about each other, magic can happen – relatively speaking. It can be the difference between –

Being successful and happy……………………. Being unsuccessful and unhappy

People being authentic……………………………. People being guarded

People smiling………………………………………….. People being miserable

People giving their all ……………………………… People giving just enough

People staying and getting even better….. People leaving

Growth …………………………………………………….. Stagnation

Success ………………………………………………….. Failure

Intention matters. You can show that people are most important by showing a limit to what you’re willing to do in pursuit of getting tasks completed and goals achieved.

When you ask them to do better, you should show that how they feel is more important. You are not willing to overtly make them feel bad about themselves just to improve their performance and make you feel better about yourself. Your criticism is very subtle. People know what and how they are doing. It doesn’t take much from you to let them know they could do better. You carefully let them know what you are thinking about their performance and quickly move to how much you believe in them and what you’ll do to help them be better. You ask questions of them and listen. You give them a way out of feeling substandard, and never lock them into it. You make them believe they can do more even if they have never done it before.

People will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.