Master your reactions

Too often, we respond quickly and with a lot of emotion to things.  We wind up making things worse.

Pause before you respond.  

If it’s serious, pause for at least one sleep.

Ask, “will my response make this better and get me closer to what I want?”

Or will your response add to your problems and build even more resistance?  

Observe your emotions, then choose your response from clarity, not impulse.

Growth isn’t passive

“Growing” personally means you increase your capabilities and the value you have to give to others.

Growing means you increase confidence and reduce fear.

Growing means you increase your ability to solve problems and make things work.

Growing means you develop more of the potential that is already inside you, waiting.

But growing doesn’t come by being passive.  It doesn’t come by doing the same things you have always done.  It doesn’t come by just using the knowledge and beliefs you have already.

Growing comes by learning new things – reading and listening and watching and attending.

Growth comes by doing things you have never done, and making space for those things by dropping some things you were doing that have less value or negative value.

Growth comes by stepping out and stepping up, where you wouldn’t have before.

Growth comes by spending time with high-quality people and going to places that are good for you and that inspire you.

Growth is something you do on purpose.  

You have to get after it.

Listen to your body, and listen to your soul.

From “The Pivot Year” by Brianna Wiest – 

When you’re tired, rest.

When you’re motivated, act.

When you’re inspired, create.

When you’re hopeful, leap.

When you’re doubtful, wait.

When you’re ready, go.

These feeling states act as portals of possibility, and when you let them slide by, you choose not to enter the parallel reality it was pulling you toward.

Listen to your body and listen to your soul.

These emotions are rarely random, but instead open and close doors at just the right time.

The Paradox of Choice – last installment

We have been talking about what living in an age of endless choices for what to do, where to work, what to buy, who to be with, etc. etc. can really fatigue us, distract us, prevent us from being present to one thing, and hurt our happiness rather than help it.

Our phones deliver “everything to everyone all the time”.  How’s that working for your mental health?

Let’s explore a few final thoughts.  

The author says every “yes” means a “no” to something else.  I talk about this in my School of Entrepreneurship.  You only have so much time in a day, and lives are made of days.  Saying yes to one thing means you are saying no to something else.  And saying yes to too much, means you enjoy nothing the way you would otherwise.  Awareness of this helps you choose with intention, not anxiety.

Simplicity enhances satisfaction.  Limit choices where possible – routines, criteria, boundaries – to reclaim focus and peace.

More choices don’t guarantee better lives, but clearer priorities do.

The Paradox of Choice part II

In the book the author talks about some people being “Maximizers and some being “Satisficers”.  

“Maximizers” chase the “best” often at the cost of happiness. They spend so much time researching and belaboring decisions. 

He goes on to say regret rises with options.  The more you compare, the more you question – and ultimately second guess your decision.

Is that you?

“Satisficers” aim for “good enough” – and usually feel better.  Is that you?

We need to live in this age of abundance without going nuts with all the options.  As far as I am concerned, just because there ARE all these options, does not mean I need to take advantage or even consider them all.  I need to move smoothly through life without mass distraction.

We’ll talk just a little more tomorrow.