Influence – Lesson 4, continued

“Through Clearness of Speech”

What could be more important than clarity?  As I teach in my School of Entrepreneurship, your team can never be more clear than you are.  So you need to get clear first.  The Shogun says –

“The first quality of the speaker who would be convincing should be to think deeply of what he wishes to say.”

Now watch this.  He then goes on to say that you need to be clear of what you are going to say AND HOW you are saying it to your particular audience – it matters.  

“As soon as he knows how to transform his thoughts into clear-cut images,…he will be careful to project them into the minds of others under the form of lights and shades.”

He talks about using language that your audience can understand.  (Clearly, he did not know I was going to read this book, or he would have dumbed down the language. But it was 838 years ago, and he didn’t know I was coming, so I will give him a pass.)  

He says to interest men in what you are saying, you have to establish some commonality with them.  “Like attracts like”.  Don’t talk over them.

He also says “Don’t lie”.

“It has been remarked with what facility people follow noble impulses, heroic appeals, and generous outbursts.”

Conciseness and clearness are great forces in the work of influencing.

Influence – Lesson 4

“Through Clearness of Speech”

“The word is the most direct manifestation of the thought; hence it is one of the most important agents of influence when it clothes itself with precision and clearness, indispensable in cooperating in creating conviction in the minds of one’s hearers.”

In this lesson, the Shogun is telling us that our words to others must be clear.  If we are confused, then our speech will be as well.  And people will not follow those who are confused.  He continues by also telling us not to talk too much –

“Leaders of souls should not forget this one thing: too great wealth of words is hostile to conviction.”

“Speech is like a diamond when it is the vibrating form of concrete thought and when it presents itself in a quiet way, rendering its suggestions familiar and clear by the way in which the orator knows how to present them.”

He says that when parents tell their kids “you will be a great ________ one day, or “You will be in prison one day”, it often comes true because the child comes to believe it.  And if the parents oscillate from dire predictions to kindness and love, it doesn’t help because the child will “fail to regard lightly the terrible menace with which they were threatened.”

If the parents oscillate, they lose their authority.  Thus, if you confuse people with one opinion one day and another the next, they will stop listening.

“But those that know how to present their thought in a few phrases, in a way that impresses itself on their listeners, may easily become leaders of the masses.”

Influence – Lesson 3

“The Influence of the Eyes”

In this chapter the Shogun is telling us that people look at each others faces and eyes in particular to see what they mean.  They can see what you are thinking.  They can gauge your resolve and determination and sincerity.

Here are some passages –

Few persons can escape the influence of the human eye.  If its look is imperious, it subjugated; if it is tender, it moves; if it is sad it penetrates the heart with melancholy.

But this influence can not be real and strong unless it is incited by the thought behind it which maintains and fixes that look in communicating to it the expression either terrible or favorable, persuasive or defiant, which alone can maintain the firmness and the perseverance of the active forces of our brain.

…But it is not enough to throw a glance….the look should be the projection of a thought in which the fixt form is definite enough so that its penetrative influence shall become efficacious.

…the eye of a man, when he is animated by an active and reasonable thought, may be an important agent of influence and of suggestion.

In order to convince an adversary one must look him straight in the eyes.  But it would be very stupid and unskillful to employ this method without discretion.

Look at the bridge of his nose without blinking while you have the idea you want them to agree to firmly and singularly in mind.  Don’t blink.

So, with this in mind, next time you want to convince someone of something important, are you going to send a text or email?

In my sales training, I explain that your ability to influence someone is never higher than after you have spent time and built rapport and done a confident, enthusiastic presentation.  Once you leave the house, your power to persuade goes down dramatically.

The power of the eyes…

Influence – Lesson 2 – "By Persuasion"

838 years ago a Japanese Shogun identified and wrote about 12 ways to exert influence.  He became one of the three greatest statesmen Japan ever produced.

In Chapter 2 he talks about persuasion.

“Persuasion clothes itself in two very different forms.  The one invades the soul like the inevitable molecules of a soothing balm poured from a kindly hand.  (Virtuous – good.)  The other may be compared to a terrible wind of the African deserts.  (Evil)”

“Evil persuasion is all the more dangerous because it knows how to clothe itself with the most attractive external attributes…they are those who seek the agreeable sensation of the moment, without giving a thought to the possible bitterness of tomorrow…..they are often compelled to suffer for days and weeks in order to pay for one day of careless pleasure.”

In my notes, I distill his writing now to this – 

“Avoid dishonest people.  Avoid negative people.  Hang out with positive good people.”

He tells a story – another person you want to influence is obviously being ridiculous and unreasonable in their position or belief – instead of arguing with them sternly to influence them – LISTEN – and meet them where they are first.  Then go from there.

Other notes I had from this chapter on persuasion –

He tells a story (his stories can be long so I omit most) the lesson of which is – use misfortune to build happiness.  Luck is born chiefly of circumstances created by ourselves.  Mind over matter.

Wow.  I love that.  “Luck is born of circumstances created chiefly by ourselves.”  

What circumstances have you set up over the years by your habits, behaviors, and actions (which were driven by what you decided to learn and who you decided to be around and where you decided to hang out)?

Influence, Lesson 1

Yoritomo Tashi wrote the title of first chapter of “Influence – How to Exert it” as – “By the increase and spread of psychic forces”.  When I first read the chapter title, I didn’t understand what it meant exactly.  I do now.

Here is a simple and clean example.  He talks about a person continually trying to get better.

Let’s think about that.  Would you follow and allow yourself to be influenced by someone who is NOT trying to get better?  When others know you are always trying to get better, they are more likely to be lead by you.  

Let’s look at the opposite.  If you are self-destructive, do stupid things, and use your time unwisely, would anyone follow you then?

He says “He will separate pride from vanity, perseverance from obstinacy, gentleness from weakness…”

In this chapter, he offers a few other nuggets.  “Success – the fulfillment of one or several desires, all converging toward one end.”  

“…the general aim of mankind – happiness”.

Wow.  So he is saying that our goals have an aim, and says that it is happiness in the end.  Not just for you but for others too.  And if our efforts work toward that aim we are likely to be able to influence others.  I mean if what we are doing will lead to more happiness for those we seek to influence, they are likely to come along.

Amen. 

Influence – How to use it. Lesson I

Lesson I – By the increase and spread of Psychic Forces

In this chapter the Shogun makes a point that you may think influence is to force your ideas upon others.  But instead, it is not that at all.  “…one who would learn the art of influencing must learn how to surround himself with an aspect of amiability in order to reach men’s souls.”

Remember, these precepts were written 838 years ago in Japanese and then translated over 100 years ago.  Don’t be distracted by the language and lose the simple lessons, though I have scrubbed much to help you.

He talks about influencing others to leave a legacy – “That man never really dies who knows how to assume sufficient empire over others to be able to trace lasting marks of his energy and power over the minds of those who, under his influence, bend their steps toward the him.”

He says “to awaken in men’s souls a resolution toward good and hatred of evil.”  Again, only the good can truly influence others.

The Shogun says that “we possess innumerable forces that lie hidden within ourselves” that we could use for less-than-ideal purposes.  We must take control of these forces rather than use them for lesser uses or to feed our own ego.  We can do amazing things with our powers if we stop wasting them on lower pursuits.

We must “awaken the forces that lie dormant within us”.  He also says evil forces as well as good will be aroused, and the combat between them will be so much stronger because we ourselves must direct it.”

“Large doses of certain drugs cause death, but, administered wisely by the skilled hand of a physician, they bring relief and very often a complete cure.  The same may be said of many forces that are evil only because they are not disciplined.”

I think of the desire to make money and this example. It’s a good thing for a noble entrepreneur, as he or she takes risks, innovates, and creates value for others.  The same desire to make money is evil in the hearts of so many private equity companies who only pretend to care for their employees or customers, and would make decisions to hurt the same to make money.

The Shogun had that one right.

More tomorrow…

Influence – How to Exert it

I was in a old cluttered bookstore in Birmingham Alabama, killing a couple of hours before a wedding with my wife Marie and a couple friends.  I’m typically not a bookstore rat with Amazon in my pocket, but the store fascinated me.  As I rummaged through the piles of books that were only generally more or less organized, I found this small hardcover book.  It was old and yellowed.  It smelled old.  It was by Yoritomo Tashi, a Japanese Shogun who wrote the ideas in this book around 1186 A.D.  His words were interpreted into this book in 1915.

The title?  Influence – How to exert it.  

I thought about the word.  Influence.  John Maxwell says Leadership IS influence.  It’s true.  If you can’t influence anyone, you can’t be a leader, and to the degree you can influence people is the same degree that you can lead.

I opened it.  I wondered how long it had been here.  How long had it been since anyone opened this book?

I looked at the table of contents on the yellowed paper that had a message to deliver and had been waiting a very, very long time to deliver it.

It spoke to me.  I wanted to know what the Japanese Shogun named Yoritomo Tashi had to say to me from 838 years ago.  It learned that Yoritomo was one of the three greatest statesmen that Japan ever produced.  I bought the book for a few dollars and walked out, and something told me that the ideas in the book were far more valuable than that.

In the coming days, I will reveal many of the main ideas from the wise and powerful man.  It will take some days; probably many.  To start, I will leave you with some of the opening ideas on Influence.  I will simplify, complete and embellish many of his words.

When one learns influence – “the art of succeeding will become familiar to him, for he will know how to attract to him many voluntary collaborators.  His power will set him apart as being different than others…the radiating action of this expanding will acts on others…”

One thing I noticed right away is that the Shogun believed that only one with good intentions could influence others well and for long. 

He says “Good influence buries vice…the source of unhappiness and restlessness, to install instead perfect calm, the joy of living, and the security which always preceded happiness, or at least allows us to maintain that state which most nearly approaches it.”

People that are trying to influence others to do bad things or deceive others are evil, and ultimately will not be able to influence once they are found out.

I can’t wait to tell you more…

Tomorrow… 

Employees see what's really going on

Your employees see what is really going on inside your company.

Do leaders care?  Do their coworkers care?  Who cares and who doesn’t?

What are the internal standards and can they be proud of them?

Is it clean?  Is the thinking short-term or long-term?

How is the sausage (product) made?

The reason all this matters, even if customers don’t see it, is because that’s what drives employee behavior.

That’s what makes them stay or not.  That’s what makes them care or not.  That’s what makes them want to do their best or not.  And that’s what is behind your sales staff’s conviction and belief or not.

Great companies are great at their core; inside.  And that, like most everything else, has its source in leadership.

The perfect life.

“It is not ease, but effort – not facility but difficulty that makes men.  There is perhaps no station in life in which difficulties have not to be encountered and overcome before any decided measure of success can be achieved.” – Samuel Smiles

I have lived a perfect life.  It was filled with challenges from the start.  I learned to overcome some of them early and what that felt like.  I got my butt kicked, and I started learning how to deal with different people.  I was rejected and underestimated.

I wasn’t the biggest or the strongest or richest and I had to figure it out.  I couldn’t afford to go to college, so I had to turn to better sources and habits of learning.  I worked outside and learned to brave the weather or I couldn’t eat.

I had no money to make payroll the following week, had no leads, not enough customers, and people cheated me.  Later, I lost my house and everything in it in a fire, lost my marriage, and a billion-dollar “investor” directly attacked me, trying to take all my customers and my life’s work away.

I have been half-dead in the middle of the desert, lost and hungry.  I have endured pain, and learned how much of it was my own making.  I learned that suffering was not outside me, but inside me as a response to the gap between my hopes or expectations, and what happened.

Yes, I have lived a perfect life.

I am strong, able, confident, resilient, proud, and no one can hurt me.

Determination

“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Determination is one of the magic invisible ingredients you’ll need to stay the course and accomplish the extraordinary.

I’d rather have determination than a sharp mind or a lofty academic education.  And I sure hope I’d have more determination than my competitor.

High achievement takes time.  Most entrepreneurs give up or get distracted with something else.  

In climbing a mountain, there will be obstacles and setbacks.  Most stop right there.

How much real determination do you have?

“I will not give up chasing the ideal and discovering how much good I can do with and through my business, because I still breathe” – that kind of determination.