Now let’s ask a few more questions.
If we had money but lots of people felt like we were cold, uncaring, and mistreated them, enough so that they were angry at us, could we really be happy?
On our deathbed, will we wish we had more money?
Will we think of all the friends we had and people we love?
If we were in trouble and few showed up to help us, how would we feel?
There are no hard answers here. We’re just exploring. Our answers, and the strength of those answers, will vary. I know that with age my answers have crystalized into a clear direction that informs my daily interactions with people. The answers matter and they are put into practice.
What does it mean to use love in leadership?
It means that you genuinely care about the people on your team. Yes, some more than others based on how long you’ve known them, their contribution and their openness and reciprocation to you. Your default being is to care for the people, and their success, at your company. You show it with your voice, your actions, your encouragement, your example, your body language, your dedication, your behavior when things don’t go well, your generosity, and combinations of these and other behaviors.
It means you know how to encourage great performance. It means you know the differences in people’s style and abilities. It means you know when to put people in front of tasks.
This is a distinction that makes all the difference.
It means you accept people how they are, and work to help them get better. This is different from not accepting people how they are and trying to change them because they are flawed.